Water's Edge Coaching

Searching for a job can be tremendously disheartening.  You do all the right things.  Send tons of resumes out.  Scan the job sites for new opportunities.  Attend all the networking groups.  Still, your cover letters and follow-up calls seem to fall on deaf ears.  It wears on you.  It’s hard not to start taking this personally.  If you’re not careful, soon you start questioning everything about, well, everything.

So here is a little secret for you.  Accomplish something.  Anything.  Focus on the day-to-day of your job search rather than the ultimate end result.  In this labor market the job search resembles a marathon more than it does a sprint so prepare yourself for the long haul.  Measure your success by the steps you complete and the useful expansion of your network.  Networking isn’t a body count, it is a strategy and so we want to build contacts with people that might have the most value for us in our search. 

Accomplishment can go outside the realm of your job search too.  This is a great time to get started on the exercise program or clean that garage.  These accomplishments will help you to keep your chin up during these challenging times.  Just remember, your job is to search for work first, and these should be supplemental activities.  Cleaning the house from top to bottom while useful, doesn’t really help you to find work.

Well?  What are you waiting for?  Go Do Something!

In the story about the tortoise and the hare, these two competitors take very different approaches to running their race.  The tortoise is slow and methodical, plodding along until he eventually wins.  The hare is fast, can run circles around the turtle, and squanders his opportunity for victory by being overconfident and not seeing things through to victory.

In my coaching I often run into clients whose style reminds me of the tortoise and the hare.  The tortoise is committed to understanding every detail, every nuance and every contingency before they feel comfortable enough to cross the finish line.  Consequently, they run on a course that has no end.  The strength of the tortoise style is their dedicated effort.  If tortoises would just define a clear finish line for themselves they would become so much better at seeing things through to completion.

The hare approach to doing things is fast acting, extremely fluid and at times haphazard.  I love the self-confidence of the “hares” that they will easily cross the finish line.  The challenge I see them facing is either becoming distracted by another great opportunity and never completing the original race or moving so quickly that they don’t think things all the way through resulting in a less than optimal final outcome.  Hares would benefit greatly by finding a way or a partner that will help them to think things through before taking action. 

Tortoises and hares have much to learn from each other’s style.  Both styles will cross the finish line.  Both styles have pros and cons.  Which are you?

I was a little rough on him, I admit it.  I didn’t apologize for it because I think it was the right thing to do, but I did acknowledge that I was being rough.  He needed me to.  Sometimes as job seekers and career changers we don’t seem to be able to get out of our own way.  We want to have a great network providing us leads, but we shy away from the hard work.  Networking is hard work and way out of the comfort zone for a lot of job seekers.  But it is THE WAY to land a job in today’s market.  Don’t hold yourself to the standard of the “power networkers” with 800 Linked-In contacts and a gift for making new friends if that is not who you are.  Not being like that doesn’t make you a bad networker, it just makes you not as good as them.  So what?!  You are looking for work for you, so do so in a way that works best for you.  Put your best efforts into it but put forth the effort!  That network is not going to create itself.  Go get em!

In this slap a bandage on the problem and get back in the game society of ours, career changers and job seekers are setting themselves up for disappointment.  We skip right to the final destination (a new job, something other than what I have now) while ignoring what we really want.  While ignoring what would really make us happy.  There are a lot of reasons we won’t focus on ourselves.  It might be we are uncomfortable doing so, or that we’re not used to taking the time to plan.  Maybe it is the pressure to find work immediately, or at least the perception there will be a price to pay if we don’t do so immediately.  In my coaching of others, it is the focus on self that seems to be the most challenging for people.  In my opinion, it is also the most important thing to do.

Our hearts are heavy as we said good-bye to our friend of 14 years, Groucho.  In honor of him I thought I would pass along some of the wisdom he shared with us over the years.

• Stop thinking so much and just do it!  If you want to lie on the chair or next to the person on the sofa get up there and do it.  Stop waiting for the perfect moment or an invitation.
• There is nothing more important than spending time with people you love.  Whether it is watching television or just hanging around while they read a book, make a point of enjoying your time with them.
• Feed me dammit!
• Keep your claws sharp but retracted.  Just because you have them doesn’t mean you have to look for reasons to use them.
• One of life’s great pleasures is lying in the warmth of the sun streaming through the window with your dogs and your people by your side.
• You can get along just fine with those who are different than you if you’ll just make the effort and follow a few basic rules.  After all, Groucho worked things out with 2 dogs in the last 4 years.
  • Stand up for yourself, don’t compromise who you are and let others know where you stand. 
  • Respect differences and dare to be curious about them.
  • Set your own boundaries and respect those set by others.
  • Be forgiving.  What’s done is done.  Leave it that way.

We will miss you Groucho.  You were a good friend, a mostly patient teacher, and a great source of warmth curled up on my lap on cold winter nights.  Cheers buddy!

Ask most managers if they empower their employees and you will an answer along the lines of “as much as I can.”  Ask most employees if they are empowered enough and you will likely hear an answer along the lines of “not nearly enough.”  It leads me to wonder if this gap is an over confidence on the part of employees, or a lack of confidence on the part of managers.  I suspect it is a bit of both.  Many of us have encountered the supremely confident member of our group who is quick to tell us they are ready for any assignment.  In their minds they are truly ready, and in yours they don’t quite have what it takes.  Put in simpler terms, you have an employee who is ready and willing to take on more challenges and you have questions about whether they are “able.”   So what are you doing about it?  Lead them!  Coach them!  Challenge them!  Stretch them!  Stretch yourself by becoming a mentor and facilitating their development.  Then tell me if the gap on those disparate points of view doesn’t close.

Kim is the Associate Director at the Career Center where I volunteer and she is outstanding at saying “thank you.”  I don’t think she has ever not said thank you for helping.  From my perspective being thanked that much isn’t really required, because the pay back for me comes from the volunteer work.  BUT, IT IS ALWAYS NICE TO FEEL APPRECIATED!  Kim does that with everybody.  I’m sure if you asked Kim she would say it is really not a big deal and that she really does appreciate the volunteers at the Career Center and all that they do.  That’s the point really, isn’t it?  Her appreciation is genuine and she wants people to know it is there.  There is a lesson for all of us in Kim’s simple gesture of appreciation.  Thank you Kim!

I sometimes sound like a broken record when delivering training programs to managers.  “Delegate!  Delegate!  Delegate!” I say.  Delegating work to others is a solution that frees up time for other activities, preferably of the proactive variety managers never seem to have enough time for.  Delegating is a great way to develop talent on your team, enrich their jobs, and consequently increase employee satisfaction with their work.  So if delegating is such a powerful solution, what stands in the way of managers doing more of it?  Two reasons are usually given: time and talent.  The time issue is the easier of the two to address.  What gets planned for gets done.  Delegation requires a commitment on the managers part and a confidence that by investing time in developing my employees today, I will gain time down the road through their ability to handle additional work.  Confidence in team members is often the “deal breaker” when it comes to delegating.  It is that lack of confidence that frequently causes managers to say “What’s the point, I’ll just have to be looking over his shoulder anyhow so I might as well handle it myself.”  So… my advice to you Mr./Ms. Manager is to take a good long look in the mirror.  Ask yourself, “What is causing me to lack confidence in this person?” and then coach to that issue.  Make that individual someone you have confidence to delegate to.  Managing is all about achieving results through others.  Delagating needs to be one of your management tools.

Yesterday I received a reminder of why I love being a coach so much.  One of my career coaching clients was describing to me her “A-Ha moment” where seemingly from out of nowhere she discovered the type of work she wants to be doing.   She eloquently described how this type of work made so much sense for her because of its connection to her values, interests and skills.  I was genuinely happy for her.  Because of her hard work, her willingness to listen to herself, and to stand up for who she is as a person I believe she was much more prepared to be ready for that “A-Ha moment.”  I haven’t gone so far as to create an elaborate “A-Ha theory” but I do believe that sometimes these ideas come to us unsolicited, while other times we need to put ourselves in a position to look at things in a different light.  That is where coaching is a big help because you’re doing a lot of introspection and with your coach exploring new possibilities.  You never really know when or where that “a-ha” is going to show itself to you, but when it does, are you ready to listen?

Growing up I idolized Ernie Banks.  By the time I was old enough to start caring about whether the Chicago Cubs won that day (an affliction I still suffer from) Ernie had moved from playing shortstop to playing first base.  But he was still Ernie!  Still Mr. Cub!  He brought a boyish enthusiasm to the game, best captured in his quote “Let’s play two.” Reflecting a message any boy could understand, on a day as beautiful as today, let’s play two games of baseball.  I don’t recall ever seeing Ernie Banks not smiling, except maybe when he was about to put a ball out on Waveland Avenue.  I’m in my 40s now, still obsessed with the Cubs, and I still idolize Ernie Banks.  I keep an Ernie Banks autographed baseball on my desk in my office.  It reminds me of the enthusiasm, hope and sheer joy that Ernie brought to the ballpark every day, and through his actions, lifting the spirits of legions of adoring Cub fans.  That autographed baseball reminds me of my sincere desire that we all could feel the same way about our work.  That as leaders we create that environment for our teams that energizes them.  As employees we must be vigilant about giving our all to the team.  As job hunters we should seek out work that engages our head, hands and heart.  Thank you Ernie Banks!  Let’s play two!