Water's Edge Coaching

Our hearts are heavy as we said good-bye to our friend of 14 years, Groucho.  In honor of him I thought I would pass along some of the wisdom he shared with us over the years.

• Stop thinking so much and just do it!  If you want to lie on the chair or next to the person on the sofa get up there and do it.  Stop waiting for the perfect moment or an invitation.
• There is nothing more important than spending time with people you love.  Whether it is watching television or just hanging around while they read a book, make a point of enjoying your time with them.
• Feed me dammit!
• Keep your claws sharp but retracted.  Just because you have them doesn’t mean you have to look for reasons to use them.
• One of life’s great pleasures is lying in the warmth of the sun streaming through the window with your dogs and your people by your side.
• You can get along just fine with those who are different than you if you’ll just make the effort and follow a few basic rules.  After all, Groucho worked things out with 2 dogs in the last 4 years.
  • Stand up for yourself, don’t compromise who you are and let others know where you stand. 
  • Respect differences and dare to be curious about them.
  • Set your own boundaries and respect those set by others.
  • Be forgiving.  What’s done is done.  Leave it that way.

We will miss you Groucho.  You were a good friend, a mostly patient teacher, and a great source of warmth curled up on my lap on cold winter nights.  Cheers buddy!

Yesterday I received a reminder of why I love being a coach so much.  One of my career coaching clients was describing to me her “A-Ha moment” where seemingly from out of nowhere she discovered the type of work she wants to be doing.   She eloquently described how this type of work made so much sense for her because of its connection to her values, interests and skills.  I was genuinely happy for her.  Because of her hard work, her willingness to listen to herself, and to stand up for who she is as a person I believe she was much more prepared to be ready for that “A-Ha moment.”  I haven’t gone so far as to create an elaborate “A-Ha theory” but I do believe that sometimes these ideas come to us unsolicited, while other times we need to put ourselves in a position to look at things in a different light.  That is where coaching is a big help because you’re doing a lot of introspection and with your coach exploring new possibilities.  You never really know when or where that “a-ha” is going to show itself to you, but when it does, are you ready to listen?

I have spoken to two people in the past week who were unhappy enough with their current employer to choose to quit their job.  One acted to save their sanity, the other acted to get out of a really bad situation.  I admire them both, as I admire anyone willing to act on the courage of their convictions.  Both people knew that in this economy, their decision was a risky one.  Yet both acted with a self confidence that assures them they will get through this and enough awareness of their personal values to know that for them not taking action was their least preferred option.   Both understand that they want their work to be important to them.  They want to put forth their best efforts on work that has meaning for them.  A lot of people would look at them and say they are crazy.  I think they are heroes.  Heroes that will soon be looking back on that day when they made a stand for themselves and wishing they had done it years ago.

For years I have been saying that I think trust is the single most important thing for an organization to get right.  Without trust, communication suffers, decisions are met with skepticism and execution of organization strategy suffers.  But is trust a black and white issue?  Do you either have it or not?  Are there levels of trust we share with others?  I think our tendency is to talk about trust as a black and white issue as in “I don’t trust that guy!” or “I would trust him with my life!” But I think the reality is deeper than that.  I think there are shades of gray to trust.  Think of some of the ways we might describe the trust in a relationship:  “I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him” or “I’m just telling you, watch your back around her” or “For your own piece of mind, I would just double-check his work.”  Before I lose your interest, and worse yet your trust in me, let me explain why I am rambling on here about trust.  The lesson I think, is in understanding where the basis for trust or distrust is coming from.  Trust can be rebuilt, and the key to doing so is in understanding its sources and defining steps to take trust to the next level.